Answer: She might ACTUALLY not be angry. Just thinking.
Because, apparently wearing a neutral face has come to be the new angry face.
Which is news to me.
I’m, honestly, not sure where we have programmed the mass populace that someone simply looking at someone in thought means their angry. But I’m getting very irritated with this growing trend to the point that I AM getting angry.
Working with large groups of the public is, admittedly, not my thing. However, if I hear one more “Smile! It’s not that bad! ” (having worked in retail far longer than I’d like to admit it seems to me that people need to cut this phrase from their interactions with retail associates in my history of working never has it made me want to smile once. It usually produces the opposite effect in most associates I’ve spoken to.)
“You look so angry. Bad day at work?”
I will happily showcase to them what a person’s angry face looks like as I choke the last vestiges of life out of you.
Let me break it down: when a face is at rest the muscles of the mouth relax causing a slight downward tilt. Not a frown which takes a bit of muscle work (“more than a smile” as I’m often freakin’ told). When working with the public since you aren’t all chipper and in their face dancing for their amusement you then must be angry.
Kami* forbid you are actually thinking because you must be planning world destruction or how to hide a body. Also, since I am of African descent I must also (stereotypically,) have a attitude problem. Which is B.S.
Keep at it and I will gladly showcase one for you however.
I’m still a bit lost as to how this came to be. If you know please tell me. I really want to know.
Please don’t misunderstand. I jump through all the appropriate social hoops of wearing a polite listening face (usually not good enough) and smiling in invitation (when I’m giving one). But if I am not wearing my mask for a moment suddenly I’m pissed…apparently. I love it when people tell ME what I’M feeling.
Even my fiancé has started to do it to my mom and at least one of my friends. I was told that I was “scowling” in a otherwise “nice” picture. I had changed the picture for a while and now I am changing it back because…well I liked that one better b*tch face and all. So there.
This Buzz-feed video perfectly captures the problem all those who have this issue:
To all you ladies out there who get this. Don’t feel bad you are not alone.
Guys, you can tell if she’s lying (I hope); if she isn’t lying and she’s NOT angry you will rapidly make her that way by making a point about it. If your goal is to make her relax that will do the exact opposite because then she thinks she has to wear a mask around you to feel comfortable and in a healthy relationship that’s probably not a great idea.
P.S. I know I’m a bit late to the game (read: “two years”) but still. I just had to get that out there because it’s STILL a freakin’ problem. I mean I know this is *really* old news but I just found out via this video:
That they are now offering Plastic surgery to ‘help’ women with this problem. It’s NOT a “problem” that she has it’s yours for NEEDING someone you usually don’t know (and if you do, you don’t know them very well, apparently) to smile to make YOU feel better about something. If she’s your woman, build her up don’t drive her down and possibly to body modifications for something so mundane (this applies to MORE than just RBF-syndrome too). Thus because we are guided by other people’s opinions the Plastic surgeons swoop in to prey upon women who have this ‘problem.’ Forgive me if this makes me a bit upset.
Your lips just droop a bit? Come on in for 2,000 bucks
(Give or take a few grand) and a few incisions later, you too can always look happy (so long as you understand that you may have to come in regularly for touch ups every few years or so…).
Sorry, it just rubs me the wrong way…in more ways than one. I don’t see them offering this to guys. I suppose it’s more socially acceptable for a man to look thoughtful. But girls? No. You have to constantly giggle and be in motion or making sounds and I guess you need to stare blankly at things with a pasted on smile too.
And while I am not a Feminist (nor do I call myself one) I think it’s kinda obvious that something seems very wrong about this.
Now if you’ll excuse me. I’m going to go back to thinking.
*Kami- Japanese for “god” in the general sense, for those who do not know.
Sound off if this keeps happening to you so that we who all have this ‘issue’ may commiserate together. All are welcome into the RBF- club. We won’t ask you what’s wrong or demand you smile.