Wedding Dress shopping sucks!

If you’ve read my previous post you’ll know how I feel about ‘looking like a princess.

Well, you wanted a Fairy Tail wedding and life...suck it up princess.
Well, you wanted a Fairy Tail wedding and life…suck it up princess.

So, yeah. This happened a while ago. I went about trying on different wedding gowns.  Yes, I promise there will be pictures of the horrifying results.

When I went dress shopping I was bigger than I’d have liked to be and I knew my likes (simplicity, lace) and dislikes (Beading of any sort…rhinestones in too many places) and that my back-end just won’t stop. From what I saw for girls of my build I was limited to only a few styles that would complement me.

One of which I positively despised.

The accursed ball gown.

So my theory was that A-lines would be best. I went with two friends and we traveled to Charleston, SC to go to several of their dress shops. It was my first trip to look at wedding gowns, and frankly I wasn’t all that thrilled. The day trip was great….the shopping…not so much.

But I tried thinking maybe I haven’t just tried on a few I liked. I tried on quite a few dresses…hated them all. But I will post them and explain why they do not work not only for me but for my body.

First off I am a curvy girl. Not in the I have too many curves (AKA ‘rolls’) but in that my waist is a good ten inches smaller than my hips and shoulders (though to be fair, when I took these pictures I had more rolls then than I do now).

I am a true hour-glass no matter how in shape I was before and am (not) now. If you have any sort of dramatic inch variations going on and you don’t want to have to do a lot of modifications, zipper backs are not really suggested. Corset backs give a better fit with less hassle in my book.

First was this dress:

Color: Alabaster  (White)

WTH was I thinking?
WTH was I thinking?

Flaw number one: The cut is ALL wrong. Empire waist lines look good only on two kinds of people really. pregnant women to show off and make room for the bump and very slim women where it gives them a visual fullness. I have fullness everywhere so this just looks like a satin tent.  I foolishly attempted to listen to the advice about trying on different styles you usually wouldn’t.

That shall not be done again.

Flaw two: It’s satin. Satin STAINS people, and no amount of dry-cleaning makes it quite the same again. If you’re having an outside wedding I wouldn’t choose satin. It also makes big things look a bit bigger when not cut right…

Flaw three: Zippered back=no shape what so ever in this design so.

Verdict: H-to the no.

Dress two: 

Color: “Ivory” (white that wasn’t left in the bleach as long as the previous…’off-white’)

A strap-less number that was lace. I do like me some lace and the simple cut was appealing to me. I’m not a fussy girl. But there was a few problems.

Strapless...and apparently plus size means HUGE bazongas...
Strapless…and apparently plus size means HUGE bazongas…

Flaw one: Zippered back. We covered this earlier.

Flaw two:  My back end is pretty epic and frankly I cannot put on dresses the way they want. There is no stepping in. Only over the head shall work. I had to fight to pull it even over my hips in the end.  Fun fact most dresses are sleeveless now because they don’t want to alter too much anymore.

Verdict: No Maybe a bit too plain and the fit was funky.

Dress Three: 

Color: Bone (Sun bleached bones…AKA “death white”)

Better. That bottom though...
Better. That bottom though…
Need a tissue?
Need a tissue?

So…this dress was the first one I kind of liked. The corset back was doing a good job of highlighting my figure and actually adjusts the cups for you when laced correctly. HOWEVER. One major flaw.

The bottom is atrocious. They look like little folded tissues I’d use to wipe someone’s nose with. And well, you can’t love HALF a dress. It just doesn’t work that way.

Verdict: No. Just…no.

The final dress I tried on: 

Color: “French Vanilla” (The bleach stayed on there even less time leaving a hint of the original unbleached color)

I liked it for the most part. It had a corset back, the top was lovely and (Well crafted) satin in a white that wasn’t too horrid on a darker skin toned woman. The bottom glossed over my hips in a nice way without being a ball gown…and my friends loved it.  I LIKED it. But didn’t love it. Here’s why:

Look at those ta-tas, that waist! Yes!
Look at those ta-tas, that waist! Yes!
Nice back too.
Nice back too.

It was a bit too close to a ball gown for my taste, though I loved the corset back and the way the top flatters me It was just a bit too…conventional. I could not see myself wearing this. It looked princessy and it even had a giant FLOWER you added to your waist. But I think I had serious issues because it looked like every other princess styled gown. SO even though it was a wonderful price and my friends loved it…It remained there to be another bride-to-be’s blessing.

It goes without saying that none of these where winners in my book as they all had a flaw and that was their color. Their all WHITE and no amount of naming them different names changes what they are. My friends where very upset that I didn’t get the final dress. They thought it was ‘the one.’ If I was the norm, maybe it would’ve been.

But I’m not and I am OK with that.

What did you think? Have you had shopping experiences that left you feeling cold towards the idea of wedding dresses? 

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Jess says:

    My biggest problem when I went wedding dress shopping was prices. I had a lot of trouble in the beginning trying to convey to dress shop owners that I did not, under any circumstances, have a ton of money tied into a dress I will wear for one day. Once I finally found a dress shop that featured dresses in my price range point, it was fine, but it definitely took me awhile!


    1. Foxy Freya says:

      Many shop owners are under the mistaken impression that a woman will spend whatever nessicary to get her gown. I keep bursting bubbles when i inform them of my budget. Those where all clearance dresses I tried on and it was hard. I don’t really want to spend upwards $900 bucks for a gown I’m likely to wear twice at most. Which is more of the reason I’m trying to find more alternative, but appropriate options.


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