Wedding and Tradition can take a hike

The thing is we don't have to!!
The thing is we don’t have to!!

Wedding dress prices and tradition can, for the most part, take a hike for me.

As a person who pokes around things I love finding out the tradition of things. How’s and why’s we do this or that I find fascinating. I looked around at the wedding ones and was…a bit upset. So far what is popularly told is to get people to spend money more than it really being about the couple and them starting their life together. And after I read it it made me a bit sad.  Personally, I’d rather spend more towards setting up a household than for a one day party.

I get that tradition was adopted for a reason, however here in the West it’s largely for money and the mass majority of brides don’t really know where so called ‘traditions’ come from or what they really mean. This post is but a glossing over. I always feel it’s one thing to choose to follow the norm out of personal choice vs. following the norm out of ignorance without knowing that there is even other options out there.

I’m not saying that these new traditions are ‘wrong’ in and of themselves just that we need to keep in mind where they came from and fight the urge to get too caught up in it simply because we’re told it’s what we ‘have to do’ or because ‘so-and-so did it.’

The wedding is ultimately about YOU and your mate-to-be.  Don’t get so wrapped up in ‘tradition’ that maybe you make decisions about things you may not have really wanted but accepted because it’s the ‘norm.’

Take for starters the diamond engagement ring:

The diamond ring thing was started by the DeBeers company to sell a  rock that they own most of the worlds stock in the wedding as we know it developed around the 20’s and 30’s the same time the ‘engagement ring’ came to be (rings/bracelets, however have been around since ancient Egypt and often where family heirlooms or similar).

How much money might some struggling couples/ grooms save if they where saved of this idea?  Again if you simply WANT a diamond get it! But don’t feel like it has to be a diamond because ‘tradition’ said so. Also the whole certain percentage of a grooms yearly income is also bunk for the most part. That was another ad campaign by DeBeers

Weddings for most western history was this:

 you, your mate-to-be both immediate families and a chapel/ courthouse followed by a large family dinner. The woman often simply wore her Sunday best.

That’s it.

I also find that the need of the dress to be white is also over bearing and simply not necessary as it’s NOT ‘tradition’ here in the west. Let me not get on the subject about how I think most wedding dresses are over priced. And in some cases the sites are so bold that they even show you the dress again in another color label is “Prom” and charge hundreds less (this article at off beat bride sums it up perfectly).  Honesty almost any nice dress of any color was acceptable until the 19th century when Queen Victoria made it in vogue (though red and green when the most used as red was a indication of wealth and green indicated that the woman was fertile) and even then it wasn’t big in America until the bridal industry began to grow and they found they could charge more for such a gown as it was a ‘one time buy’.

For the most part mothers/ grandmothers/ brides themselves sewed their own ‘gown’ or even simply went back to the standard Sunday best.  Scandinavia tended to wear black as their traditional gown color prior to that wedding from Queen Victoria (she is also the one who ushered in all black for mourning). In India wearing all white is seen as inviting early widowhood onto yourself  and unhappiness so even in Christian weddings it is typically broken up by a color. In China going very far back red was the typical color (and in fact if a bride chose that color would probably not be allowed to be married) and though Japan used white it was the color often associated with DEATH (it is ‘appropriate’ for some of the wedding kimonos as you are dying to your family and being born into your husbands which is why after at their version of the reception the bride often wore another color). Japan it has since become in style that they are ‘born Shinto, married Christian, and buried Buddists. Meaning that many are choosing a Christian western style ceremony complete with white gown to marry in.

Bridesmaids where born out of Roman Superstition that was carried over until today…

So sorry, mums, ‘tradition’ doesn’t fly with this girl as a ‘catch all’ response.

Again. IF you want to do something because you like it or it speaks to you and your mate-to-be as a couple. DO IT. I am just all for people making choices out of knowledge rather than ignorance. I find that making choices out of that make your choices, in the end, MUCH more satisfying.

What do you think? Does it make you think? Do you shrug and move on? Does it free you a bit to look at other options as it did for me? 

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